The Cougar Appeal
There’s an evolving dating paradigm that is bound to prickle the spines of young women everywhere giving unripe gents a much-needed ego-boost: older women are hotly and vigorously pursuing younger men. Famously known as Sugar Mummies, Cougars or MILFS, their sole romantic aim is to ensnare a callow companion.
So prevalent is the trend that Hollywood has jumped on the bandwagon with the film Cougar Club to be released later this year features a group of older women on the prowl for younger blood. The promotional blurb line? “We are women - hear us roar!”.
Historically, keeping a toy boy isn’t something new. Cleopatra married the much younger Ptolemy. Queen Elizabeth I got engaged to 22-year-old Fracois, Duke of Anjou when she was 48. And Joan Collins, 75 is married to Percy Gibson, 32 years her junior.
Then there’s the Madonna / Guy Richie / A-Rod affair, where both gents are younger than her; there’s 48-year-old Linda Hogan who is currently dating a young 19-year-old blonde male model named Charlie Hill, and there’s Jennifer Aniston whose hot new fling with a much younger John Mayer has nabbed her the Top Cougar position on WowOwow.com. (In second place is Halle Berry, followed closely by Demi Moore and Kim Cattrall) …
But being a Cougar doesn’t come without a price. In response to the story on Hogan and McDaniel in the LA Times, one blogger (ironically named Ashton), responds by urging Hogan to “get a body lift” if she has a hope in hell of keeping her cub. He continues: “In five years your body is so done, you’ve got sun-damaged skin, your stomach looks soft and flabby and this little cub will be straying real quick. If you’re going be a cougar, [you] better be fit to keep the cub.”
Life coach Zen Kern disagrees. The 27-year-old, who is continually hit on by older women, has decided to jump on the Cougar trend and offer classes to aspiring Cougars who are looking to shack with a much younger gent. Hence he instructs ladies in his two-hour Cougar Class on how to best score with a cub.
“Finding common ground” is key, he says, and teaches women how to be confident and not scare off men.
“There are unique challenges that Cougars face,” he tells the LA Weekly Magazine. “It’s difficult to know how to successfully navigate through the singles scene. That is why Cougar Class was started, to give practical instruction and valuable insight to experienced women on how to best approach single life. ”
Some say the very word “Cougar” is a derogatory term, yet Bondi-based fashion designer Tali Jatali and self-confessed Cougar isn’t having any of it. By her reckoning, Cougars are to be feted and celebrated, hence she’s decided to pen a book about how to successfully be one. The tome, titled Disposable Hot Men, speaks of the advantages of being a Cougar, how to get a younger man and what to do with him once you have him.
Speaking to me from her Sydney-pad, she says that in order to score a younger man, you need not fear rejection. “If one man isn’t so into you, I promise you that seven others will be!”
When I ask her what the attraction of the Cougar is, she surmises that since men always think of sex, the older woman is more appealing to them as they are more experienced. “They presume that as we are older than them we are so much better in bed and we may teach them new tricks, and we sure will.”
I wonder if there is pressure on Cougars to look a certain way and Tali confirms my suspicions, telling me that unfortunately they do - it’s just the way the male mind works.
“A cougar does have to look a certain way,” she says. But it’s best to avoid the mutton dressed as lamb look as much as possible. “There are good high heels and short skirts and then there are the bad high heels, so use your intuition!”
So what is the prognosis for such relationships? It seems there has been speculation that younger gents who are into older women are simply trying to replace their mums. Hence the question is asked: Wife or mother? Psychologists dictate that often the Cougar symbolises someone to nurture and care for the younger man, pushing him back to his childhood state. Others say that while younger men like to date older women, when it comes to tying the knot, the younger women always win. Perhaps that stab of botox is a good idea after all …
Tali’s Top Five Tips for Cougars
1. “Be sure of yourself and don’t think the age gap matters, no one really cares about that so why should you.”
2. “Always present yourself well wear what suits you and don’t wear heels to go for a walk just to look sexy because that is not.”
3. “Tell all your friends about your adventures as it makes the most interesting conversation of the week. And its all about you.”
4. “Don’t sleep with any of his friends , once you’ve slept with him.”
5. “Enjoy the ride because I sure am!”
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